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Scenes From The Movie
"Ruthless People"


A customer walks into a Hi-Fi store with his
girlfriend to help her make a decision
on which speakers to purchase:

Boyfriend: See, that's what i've got (he
           says to his girlfriend as he
           points to the Definator X-1   
           speakers).

Girlfriend: Yes, it's really pretty.

(The salesman approaches)

Salesman: Over here we have a great speaker.
          Consumerphile Stereo has rated it 
          "Best Buy".

Boyfriend: What do you think of this one?
           (Pointing to the Definator X-1s)

Salesman: The Definator is a GREAT marketing
          idea, but it's really not a good speaker.
          We give it a 500% markup and then
          discount it 50% off so the customer
          Thinks he's getting a good deal and
          we still make a bundle.

Girlfriend: But it's so big and impressive.

Salesman: Size means very little.  Bigger
          isn't necessarily better.  I sound
          like Dr Ruth Westheimer.

Girlfriend: You mean the Definator is like, a, um...

Salesman: Well, the Definator is popular with men
          who like to have...

Girlfriend: Bigger equipment?

Salesman: Exactly!

In another scene we have...


A young man with long hair, wearing
laid back cloths, and a flannel shirt 
is wrapped around his waist enters
the store:

Dude:  Hey, YO!  Wanna sell me
       a stereo?

Salesman: Yeah, I'll help ya'.

Dude: I'm lookin' for somethin'
      REAL HOT but I don't
      wanna get ripped off.
      Know what I mean?

Salesman: OK.  You're lookin' for
          some REEEEEEALLY HOT
          speakers right?  Not just
          somethin' you listen to,
          but something you can
          feeeeeeel, right?

Dude: Y E A H !!!

Salesman: When it comes to a great
          stereo you can't beat
          B I G   S P E A K E R S.
          I'm talking big speakers
          with big woofers.  Like this...
          You could get this speaker
          with a little eight inch woofer,
          or this one with a ten inch woofer.
          OR even this one with a 
          twelve inch woofer.  BUT I can
          see by the look on your face you
          want somethin' even bigger!

Dude:  F ^ < K    Y E A H!!!

Salesman: F^<K  YEAH is right!  We gotta
          go to the "Big Room" for this.

(As the salesman and the dude walk into the
 room in the rear of the store.  The salesman
 opens the door and exclaims...)

Salesman: THE BIG ROOM!!!
          The flagship of the Definator
          line.  The PB-0002, I have a
          pair of these myself.  
          THIRTY INCHES of thigh
          slappin', blood pumpin',
          nuclear brain damage!!!

Dude: Bitchen!  What's it cost?

(As the salesman start to turn up
 some cool death metal rock at
 a really loud volume level)

Salesman: That's the beauty of it.
          If you can't afford it
          f^<kin' finance it!!!  Who
          cares if it's as big as 
          Subaru and costs twice
          as much, you'll never
          have to upgrade it and
          when you die you can
          be buried in 'em!!!
 

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