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April 2003
April Fools Joke!
Audiophile Sound Solution
Home Overall Liquid Energizer
Review by Steven R. Rochlin
Click here to e-mail reviewer
Many years ago it was discovered by
a world renown scientist and close friend of mine, Ian M. Anderson (I.M.A.),
that the music reproduction abilities of your high-end audio system are affected
by the humidity and static electricity conditions of your room and equipment
within it. Many keen-eared music lovers know how during the dry winter months
their system sounds differently than during he humid spring/summer weather. This
is especially true for those of you who enjoy vinyl replay. During the CES in
Las Vegas, many rooms employing vinyl replay has humidifiers as static buildup
from needle-vinyl interaction would cause amplifier and loudspeaker damaging
loud pops when said static buildup would be released. This solution is not just
beneficial to vinylphiles, but also digital lovers as well. As my friend I.M.A.
lives in a generally dry environment, he used his scientific knowledge and is
now offering Audiophile Sound Solution - Home Overall Liquid Energizer.
This solution has been carefully formulated to not only insure proper room humidification; it also conditions the air to reduce airborne "distortion" that decreases the abilities of a music reproduction system. Many cigar enthusiasts are familiar with using special solutions to insure proper humidification of their prized cigars. The same type of principle is used within the Audiophile Sound Solution - Home Overall Liquid Energizer. Mastering engineers and those who archive recordings have already discovered the benefits of using this product. It is obvious that by having the ability to control the air around you, you enhance the playback, archiving, and recording ability of your equipment. It is about time someone truly brilliant offers a product like Audiophile Sound Solution - Home Overall Liquid Energizer (or A.S.S.-H.O.L.E. for short).
As seen above, I.M.A. takes great care insuring his A.S.S.-H.O.L.E is the best it can be. Note the clinically correct white shirt and high-precision instrument employed to insure proper integration of the specially formulated chemical compound. After many months of careful testing and retesting, he realized that only through these exact conditions can A.S.S.-H.O.L.E be made. In fact he feels that the best time to make the best A.S.S.-H.O.L.E, it needs to be on a night during a full moon due to the magnetic properties of the moon, Earth, and his chemical formulation. This makes perfect sense as we all know A.S.S.-H.O.L.Es always seem to come out during a full moon. Using this product is very intuitive.
The instruction on the back of the bottle is simple - just spray
A.S.S.-H.O.L.E as needed. During this review i began with ten squirts and the
improvements were immediately noticeable. Besides extending the soundstage of
both analog and digital sources, it enhanced resolution as the music appeared to
be more enjoyable. To my surprise, the feeling of enjoyment extended past the
music on also helped my, sadly, generally irritating Significant Other. After weeks
of using, I.M.A.'s A.S.S.-H.O.L.E made my Significant Other much more pleasing
to be around! Something is afoot in A.S.S.-H.O.L.E-land!
In the end this product is highly recommended. The price may be steep at $1,239.95 Lirpa Hoo-Ha's, yet many music lovers would pay much more than that for an interconnect, let alone a marriage councilor! Consider it a state of being an A.S.S.-H.O.L.E, and not just another audiophile product. It is more a way of life per se. So i salute I.M.A. for allowing us all to benefit his great new product! As always, in the end what really matters is that you...
Enjoy the Music,
Steven R. Rochlin
Specifications
$1,239.95 Lirpa Hoo-Ha's for a 12 oz. spray bottle
Company Information
I.M.A. A.S.S.-H.O.L.E.
Al-Masjid Street
Block 14.35
Maroochi, Lirpa
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