Yin Yang Labs Graphametric Paralyzer by Steven R. Rochlin

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April 2002
April Fools Joke!

Yin Yang Labs
Graphametric Paralyzer

Review By Steven R. Rochlin
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Yin Yang Labs Graphametric Paralyzer

Audiophiles worldwide have long been looking for a way to enhance the enjoyment of their music. This has lead to inevitable upgrades in various parts of their music reproduction system. This piece will enhance the transparency of lesser recordings, or reduce them if you are tired of hyper-reality. Like your system's transparency, the imaging can be tuned to fine Zeiss-like focus, or into a blur. For those using older solid-state devices or push-pull amplifiers, the harmonics know may be the key for those looking for that zero feedback single-ended tube sound!

For me, the most important adjustment the Yin Yang Labs Graphametric Parlyzer can achieve is in adding real talent to those pop music recordings. While there may be gifted people who lack the talent, imagine Britney Spears with ten times the talent! Alas, even with this adjustment i found that Britney was still the lifeless sell-out she is. Seems that when you start out with zero talent, zero multiplied by ten still equals zero. On the other end of the scale, incredible individuals such as Miles Davis, Billie Holiday, Buddy Guy and the like have so much talent that any adjustment of the talent knob appears to have no effect at all. Of course in the end what really matters is that you...

Enjoy the Music,

Steven R. Rochlin

Tonality	99 ^44/100
Sub-bass (10 Hz - 60 Hz)	99 ^44/100
Mid-bass (80 Hz - 200 Hz)	99 ^44/100
Midrange (200 Hz - 3,000 Hz)	99 ^44/100
High-frequencies (3,000 Hz on up)	99 ^44/100
Attack	99 ^44/100
Decay	99 ^44/100
Inner Resolution	99 ^44/100
Soundscape width front	99 ^44/100
Soundscape width rear	99 ^44/100
Soundscape depth behind speakers	99 ^44/100
Soundscape extension into the room	99 ^44/100
Imaging	99 ^44/100
Fit and Finish	99 ^44/100
Self Noise	99 ^44/100
Value for the Money	99 ^44/100

Specifications

Frequency Response: 0Hz to beyond 400kHz (ą2dB)

Outputs: 99.99999% silver RCA and XLR

Other Details: 3,000 year aged silver employed throughout. All components custom made by hand using ancient Buddhist Monk techniques. Some parts only capable of being made during nights with a full moon due to effects of the moon's magnetic nature.

Impedance: Variable input/output with custom autoformer that senses what is necessary (no more than needed, no less than required).

Weight: 70 pounds

Shielding: Fully shielded from unwanted spirits, ill will, and bad karma

Price: $1,965,043.69